Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My love is like a taxi cab...

"Men are like cabs, when they're available, their light goes on.  They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on.  The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one they marry...You gotta get 'em when their light's on."

My first point in using this quote is to say that Boston cabs are stupid.  Their lights go on when they have a fare, and are dark when they don't.  It took me some time to figure this out.  I thought there was something wrong with those individual taxis.  Turns out, its all the damn Boston cabs.

But I was reminded of this quote for other reasons recently.  And I'll qualify this post now by saying that it isn't just men who do this, it's everyone.  Generally most women (as Miranda goes on to say in that scene) drive around for a long time picking up men, and then kicking them to the curb when they turn out to be dogs.  And generally most men drive around "Off Duty" and pick up women with every intention of dropping them off on the next block.  But I think both genders have gotten equally good at doing both.

Last weekend I was in New York City, hanging out with some of the best girlfriends anyone could ask for.  And with different friends from different social circles, our conversations kept coming back to the same themes on relationships. It seems like so many of us have been in a relationship we thought was going somewhere, only to realize that maybe one part of the relationship didn't have his or her light on yet.  Which led to break up and heartache, naturally a lot of time reflecting and soul-searching, and I'm glad to say, in some cases, very happy endings.

I never thought I'd say this, but now I totally understand and appreciate online dating.  It's a place where you can go and open up a profile and literally tell the world that you've got your light on.  And you can instantly connect with others who also have their lights on.  Instead of a bar, where it's really hard to tell.

I used to believe that if you loved someone enough, it wouldn't matter whether or not you were ready.  I used to believe that you would find someone, meet someone, and that would be it.  But I'm starting to see that the universe works in mysterious ways, and that it isn't always love at first sight.

Choice plays a much bigger role in this than I first thought.

You have to choose to open yourself up.  You have to choose to let someone in.  And you have to choose to turn your light on.

You might look damn good standing on the side of the road trying to flag down a cab.  But some of them are never going to stop, no matter how amazing you are.  And it isn't you.  It's them.

I also used to believe that if he didn't stop the first time around, he wasn't worth my time.  But now, I don't think I can stay so hard and fast to that.  Maybe it's just as valuable if you are so stuck in his mind, he's going to drive around the block to find you again.

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